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In college, they teach you to throughly study everything. You read every book you can, learn all you can about whatever it is you are studying, look at it from every angle, analysis, cross reference, etc., until you totally understand what it is you are looking at.

Couple problems here... they didn't teach Tarot 101 at U.S.C. and in truth, if they did, I not goin back to school. I been there, done that.

Second major problem, no two books on tarot agree on anything. You have 10 books giving you a divination on any one card, you have 12-15 different reads. And for a while I struggled with that.

I like so many of us started with the RWS deck and that was so disconcerting to me. I would look at the cards and they had little or no meaning to me. I remember one of the books telling me to take all the cards, place them face up on a table and pick out your five favorite. Then pick out your five least favorite. As my eyes wandered over this table covered in color, I remember vividly not being able to find 5 cards I really liked. Here is where the adventure started.

I bought another set of cards. They were prettier and I could find some favorites here. SO I tried them. I would use one book one day and another book the next. But that just wasn't working. That's not reading, thats truning a card and citing someone elses opinion. I bought another deck, then another, then another. I finally found the Druidcraft Tarot deck and being very drawn to Celtic tradition, I found at least a beautiful deck that somehow :touched" me. I put away all the other books and relied solely on the 128 page tome that came with the cards. Gods I loved the imagery, the beauty of the Celtic theme, the wa the artist had used the cards and art to mean exactly what he wanted the cards to mean. And for a short while that worked. But too soon I was right back where I started, reading the answers without contributing. It was like cheating on a test.

Then I found the Monolith Forum quite by accident. A friend who I read with actually found it first and she fell in love with the Gothic Tarot. Her style of reading was more traditional, where you kneww what the card meant everytime you read it. She and I argued about that a lot. How can a card mean the same exact thing everytime you turn it. That means every question you ask is limited. But as I came her, I found this magnificent, gifted woman who graciously took me in hand and showed me a differnt way to look at tarot reading. My Dark Mistress, Madame Mara, of course. I would encourage you to read the "Tarot Musings" and add what questions and thoughts you may have there.

And then something quite magical happened. I broke down and bought a set of "GOTHIC TAROT". And the world totally opened up to me.

I took the cards out of the box and, I swear to the goddess, they talked to me. Not in voice or sound, but in touch and feel. They felt so right. I took them out and spread them over the table like I had every deck before. I couldn't find 5 favorite cards. Instead I found 78.

That is when reading became exciting. These cards with the great depth of artwork pulled me into "Intutive" reading. If I read the same card three times a day, I know i will get three different divinations from it becasue the artwork will speak to me differently, my eye will catch something different this time. And the divination comes from ME, not a book.

I guess then what I need to say after all that is simply this; the cards hold no magic other then the gift Joseph granted us with his art. The magic is in us, in each of us that turn a card looking for an answer. But those cards, those magnificent, beautiful cards are where we divine our inspiration, where we find that which we seek, not because someone told us that's what it means, but because we SAW IT.

And if the Gothic Tarot speaks to you, if any deck can speak to you, then you will find your power.

I cite nuberology and Cabala meanings in my reads in the Daily Read forum. But if you read them through, too often I discount the science of the tarot and rely on what I see. Is it wrong to read the "old fashioned" way, where the card means the same thing everytime you read it? No, of course not. Many, many tarot readers know of no other way. Am I completely right in how I do it? Only for me, and I would not tell you this is the only way to do it. In truth I still fall back on the wisdom of Christine's Little Black Book that came with the Gothic to guide me when I hit a snag or if I am unsure (especially when I turn those damn court cards). But she never tries to tell me this and only this is what the card means. She doesn't write three paragraphs on divination, just some short, concise, non obtrusive thoughts that went into the cards allowing me the complete freedom to go where I want to after that.

Let the cards talk to you. Let them draw out your divination. Get lost, immerse yourself in the richness of the artwork and let it work for you. But I would suggest that YOU be the one deciding what the card is telling you and not let someone else tell you that everytime you see the Five of Cups, it means melancholy, that some has been disappointed or that Seven of Pentacles means a time of waiting.

Just so you know, it took a little while to get used to this. But over time, it became totally natural, like this is how it should have been.

Sorry for the tome. Happy and enjoyable reading to you. May the light follow you every step of the way.

Oh and don't let the flickering candles bother you too much. That just happens sometimes. =)