My cards have been locked away in their bag in a drawer, untouched, unread. I know not why tonight I felt them call me. Nor do I know why I came back here. Maybe it was the hope that Milady Mara had returned, even though I know that to be unlikely. If you read this Mara, know I miss you greatly. Your guidance and friendship have been keenly missed.
Was it that the first daily read I have made in all these times told me to come here? That the card flashed a vision on my soul to return? I don't know. Yet here I am, at least for now, and I will fight my way through the feeling of being here alone, without my guide.
The cards are cold, alien. The shuffling is hard, not in that the cards are wild, trying to jump out and talk to me, but quite the opposite. They are leaden, stiff as if they want to be returned to the dark warmth of their black velvet bag. "Leave us be," they seem to shout at me, but I will not allow them. I almost feel like I am forcing my will on them as I shuffle them over and over and over again. How long did I keep them moving before they finally seemed to awaken.
The cut was anything by symetrical, the third cut was but a few cards. That is unlike me, or at least it was. Still, there were three piles of cards, one calling to be turned, almost shouting at me. In truth, I was not sure I wanted to know what it was. I am unsure of my own artisanship with the tarot right now. Yet finally I turned it over.
ACE OF PENTACLES
I laughed as I saw it. The new begining it promised, a begining in Earth no less. I do not read pents as simply business, money or the everyday career success that so many others do. I read Pents as the common sense, earth-magic reality that touches us everyday. Unlike the emotional fire of Wands, the intellectual/mental air of Swords and the spiritual, sensuality water of cups, pentacles talks to me of the reality of or life, that which we can reach out and touch and that can touch us back.
Like my cards can be touched and touch back. Like returning here touched me, returning good memories and a missed freind.
But can it also be telling of a new begining for our country? I do not feel that , but I cannot discount it entirely.
For now, I will try to return here regularly and share my daily turn of the cards. And in the sharing, I would appreciate any and all comment and insight from those who also walk these halls.


