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Too long have I been away from here, the absence felt keenly. So many times I have sat down with the intent of pulling my cards from the black and red velvet sack only to have a phone call or other intrusion take me away. I have keenly missed this forum, not just as a place to come and expound on what and where my divination took me, but in the company of all the other readers of our beloved Gothic Tarot. And while I cannot promise to be here every day, I do promise to be here more often and with some regularity. Briefly, life in Wisconsin is more than I expected, and all positive. The holidays were nothing short of magical surrounded by my family. The exchanging of presents could never live up t just having them near, the love and fun we shared from before Thanksgiving through to tonight's family dinner. Professionally, everything is new and at the same time the same, dealing with new projects and ideas. One huge design and installation has been completed but two more are already on my desk. The work is exciting and scary at times in that I am having to take the ideas and procedures I used in California and adapt them to Wisconsin. Different applications using the same technology and design makes for some interesting blueprints. It is a major rush though and the days scream by. Yet I need to take time for my reading because in truth, there have been days when I have felt lost because I did not have a chance to turn a card. That, I hope, is something I plan on correcting. To that end. . .

I didn't expect the cards to feel so comfortable. I expected clumsiness, maybe even some hesitancy in the shuffle. But like old friends they fit in my hands like I had not missed a day. No jumpers, nothing flying around. Everything was under control as if both the deck and I were working hard not to allow awkwardness interfere with this first card, this Dream Card, as my Mistress Mara has called a late night read..

IV of Swords

An easy read having just finished the first big project. Relax. Enjoy the peace and solitude while it lasts because it may not last long. Fours are the complex numbers. They crave change. They bring revolutions and upheavals. In Air, the four speaks of intellect, of mental activity. As she rest there, looking down onto the corpse, she knows activity lies before her, be it a battle or fight. But for right now, she can stop and reflect. She MUST. Because here, she draws strength for the battle. Here she returns to explore why she enters battle, what drives her, what causes her to move forward. Does the skeleton speak to her? Maybe. But she is, in this moment of peace, preparing for whatever lies ahead of her.

Time to relax the mind, breath the air, smell the flowers because my next challenge, the one that will need my attention to detail, is ahead of me. And it moves towards me rapidly.

Enjoy the peace while you can. Gather strength while standing in the tomb. Because I must go out into the light again very soon.

The cards are starting to show signs of use. The edges worn a bit white from mixing, but otherwise they are comfortable and alive. I have my new deck still in cellophane but I am hesitant to open them up just because these show wear. These cards are too close to my heart yet to be replaced. They still contain the replacement Knave that Christine sent me went I damaged the original. But i does tell me that the time approaches when I must break out the new deck and that does sadden me. Not yet, not until these are unusable, which is still a long ways off. But the thought is now there that one day I will have to retire this deck.

VIII of Wands

My but she looks very pissed today. Her hand extended up, spread in a way that can only mean she is in the middle of an incantation. Definately offensive, she attacks, her hand tightly gripping the 8th wand. I know if she smiled, this spirit would be beautiful, she is already alluring.


The workhorse, the eight speaks of hard work, effort or something that needs to be earned. In fire, it points to creativity, life. love and such. Christine's LBB divination is certainly relevant:

Quote:

---

making swift progress towards a goal, a hasty decision, a great amount of oportunities await, possibilities include love.

---

Yet today I am caught by the intensity of her hands. She is motivated. She is pushhing herself towards something, be it an enchantment or the destructon of whomever she faces. She tells me not to think too hard today, to trust instinct and heart when moving forward. And when the course chosen, act decisively and swift. No half-hearted measures today. No stopping to think about it.

Of course, this philosophy can be disasterous. But her hands tell me to move forward. Kill everyone and let God sort it out. A fatalistic way to operate, especially at the extremes, but maybe stay there in that mode in a less confrontational way.

XIX The Sun (rev)

One of the most beautiful cards in the deck, he holds her so tenderly, so protectively. Determination is engraved in his face, his chin up as he moves to do nothing but protect her. He is most certainly a hero.

Reversed, he seems to be flying down, mayhaps even soaring easily. That is an interesting perception today as it does change the feel of the card.

"Fulfillment gained through effort" is how Christine describes the Sun inverted, and that is a divination I have always adhered to, not just because she said it, although her opinion as written in the Little Black/White Book does carry major weight with me, but because that is how the card feels to me. Nothing traditional about this reading, it's not just "because that is always the way it is so there". It's in his face, the way his wings are spread, the way he holds her gently. Right side up, it looks as if his pride and resolve have made him haughty and maybe a little over proud. But reversed, he is looking the way he is flying,; looking forward, planning his flight plan, looking for that which may try to hurt her. Reversed he must be more alert, more prepared to act, so his fulfillment, getting her where she must be taken, is more work.

And in truth, I'd rather earn my way to fulfillment. I want to work for everything I get rather than have it handed to me. I want to fly looking forward instead of striding forward with my chin exposed. But by the goddess, this is one magnificently beautiful card.

Know my dearest mistress, I have always been here, just as I always will be. But still I am glad you are again reading your daily card and sharing your wisdom and experience with us again. Now if you don't mind, I will go down in the basement and clean off the accumulated dust on your torture equipment. I know how you hate to get your gloves dusty.

I have been in a strange mood of late. I have been reading Steinbeck's works one after the other I think hoping his genius will somehow rub off on me with every turning of the page. While his work is never really uplifting and happy, it is still, at times, very strengthening to me. The human element, the drama of the ordinary man, the hardships of a normal life. Always one of my favorite authors, I was fortunate to have lived in Monterey, California for some years so I walked Cannery Row and could visual, at least in my mind if not on the ground, those places he wrote about. But still, John Steinbeck is not a "fun" author to read. He makes me work for it. As The Sun told me yesterday, I must earn my success, my fulfillment. That works for me. For just a few extra hours in the dungeon, I get a double portion of Hypno-Toad for dinner tonight. It doesn't get any better then that. I wonder if I go up and reorganize the North Tower, tidy up a bit and such, if The Mistress will have cook prepare a special dessert to go with dinner? Makes your mouth water, doesn't it?

Ahem. Back to business......

IX of Wands

"Come, take one of these beautiful wands I have prepared for you," she invites me.

But she is hinting that she may be offering more than just the wands with that lovely leg so exposed, and the low cut of her bodice. It's as if she tests me. Do I succumb to her femininity, or to the wands and whatever fight is ahead? The wands stand in front of her web but not by much. Her hand, I think, is resting on her trap, so that if I were to pick her then I would surely get wrapped up in it. Which to chose?

The nines speak of our "foundations", that which we build up from, either for good or bad. In Fire, they want to be ambitious, full of creative energy, and at times can be work related. Okay, enough of Cabala and traditional suit meaning.

A choice between what I want and what I need lays before me. What I want (the Black Widow) may or may not be what I need. Getting caught in her web may not be a downside, BTW. Taking up arms (the wand) may make me stronger and take me further down the road to fulfillment (yesterday's fulfillment through hard work) and success may set me back with an unnecessary battle for something that does not require a battle. But I do know this; both yesterday's and today's card may (read do) refer to working for something that requires strength and determination to acquire. Today, it's just a matter of choice.

What I want versus what I need and being able to recognize the difference. Sometimes it's not a bad thing to be trapped in a web of someone else's creation. This could be a very interesting day. It definitely will put me in a mindset not to make snap decisions and slow me down to where I will think more before saying anything.

That's not necessarily a bad thing either, is it?